I craved martabak a while ago. After estimating the amount of money I would have left if I bought some fancy martabak, I decided to buy it, specifically, Martabak Pizza Orins. I looked it up in the food delivery application, but the location was too far — 7 km away from my house. As long as I knew, there was another store that is closer to my house. Maybe it’s opened yet, I thought. I checked back an hour later, but the result was still the same. The closest store was closed.
I didn’t give up. The next day, I tried again, but there was no difference. I was disappointed, but then I got quite busy and forgot about my cravings for a while. Later, I saw the announcement that the closest Martabak Pizza Orins store was closed permanently. They didn’t tell why, but most probably because of the pandemic.
I’ve always loved martabak. I’ve tried many martabak around town: Martabak Asia, Martabak Mertua, Martabak Al Fattah, you name it. But for me, Martabak Pizza Orins took the crown. I first tried it on my birthday, a month before the pandemic hit the country. My friends, who knew me and my fondness (passion!) of martabak, bought me this amazing ‘pancake’ with its amazing smell. I ate it with my friends, and brought the leftovers home. My grandmother loved it too. She rarely enjoys the food that I enjoy, but at that time, she said the martabak was delicious. It was heavenly — the savory butter, combined with the right amount of chocolate topping on the soft-but-not-bouncy dough, all enclosed in a thin and crispy edges.
I’ve always associated Martabak Pizza Orins with happiness or celebration, something that is sweet — literally, and metaphorically. Because of its large portion, martabak is usually bought to be eaten when there is a get-together, during late-night meetings, and of course — in birthday celebrations. I correlate martabak with good friends, good times, face-to-face university days, late-night talks, “dapur” TL, and so many good memories.
When I heard that the martabak store was permanently closed, I felt robbed. It felt like this pandemic took another piece from me. It had corrupted the time that I could have spent with my friends to, and now it robbed the food that I enjoy, the happiness, and all the little things that once seem ordinary but now I long the most.
I believe many people ask the same question: what would have happened if there is no pandemic at all? To this, I can find no answer. Living during this uncertain time is depressing. Bad news on every scroll down the timeline on every social media app. I feel grateful that I can still live quite comfortably in my home, and my family and close friends were healthy, but more often than not I feel afraid of losing the people I love. I feel sad and lonely and angry at the situation. Seeing how the government handles the pandemic, looking at the number of dead people and the number of infected people, reading the story of those who lose their loved ones. I used to tell myself that there’s hope, even the tiniest bit, but now, I feel that there’s little to no hope. Last year I thought that this situation will end soon, but now I’m too afraid to even set an expectation.
A while ago my friend and I talked about the five stages of grief. We’re trapped in the fourth stage — the abyss of depression, I said, half-serious. Martabak Pizza Orins was the food that I ordered during hard times, to cheer myself up and recall the happy memories I’ve spent with my friends while eating it. Now, the closest store is gone. I can always buy it from the other store, of course, but still, I grive. I’ll still give Martabak Orins 5/5 stars, both for the taste and for the memories it has created.
P.S. Thanks to Fina for editing this piece!
